The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
