So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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