i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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