There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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