Christians are straight up FREAKS
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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