She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
