i just had sex bonerless
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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