Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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