i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
