I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
