I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
