She is in my trunk
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
