you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize