I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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