yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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