ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
