Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
