Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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