take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
