we're blogging at a bar
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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