Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
