So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
