420 ftw
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
