if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
