Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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