she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
