I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
