he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So many bounce houses so little time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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