What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
