Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
