I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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