yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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