elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
