wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As shirtless as possible
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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