That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
