I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize