someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Duck Duck Cougar?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
