They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
