I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
