I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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