If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can text with my tongue
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
