I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
