I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
