when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
