i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
