Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
