return my video game
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
