i think my mom watched the whole time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
