hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
