people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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