Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
