We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
