i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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