in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize