So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
