There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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