How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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